


i will always be with you

by flowerchild



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: First Kiss, First Time, I Don't Even Know, Kid Fic, M/M, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-14
Updated: 2014-03-14
Packaged: 2018-01-15 17:25:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1313146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerchild/pseuds/flowerchild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>louis was harry's first everything</p>
            </blockquote>





	i will always be with you

**Author's Note:**

> i've been working on this on and off for like two months because i'm a massive procrastinator who isn't completely sold on her writing so yeah there's that
> 
> i'd like to give a massive massive thank you to emily (embrofic) for helping me out always  
> you're lovely and i totally don't deserve all the help you give me  
> & as always, ebony for always reading my shitty writing and loving every second of it
> 
> the song doesn't really have any relevance to the fic but titles from countdown by beyoncé
> 
> disclaimer: i'm not the best writer and it's just a hobby yay enjoy :*

harry was six and louis was eight.

it was under the blazing july sun and harry had just finished making his sand castle, hands covered in blotches of wet sand he used to sculpt a world of his own. 

it was lopsided, chunks of sand occasionally falling from the sides of the crooked walls, but he was proud of his work.

the sun was blinding and he had to squint his eyes, but he could make out his mom and sister laying leisurely under on a hazardously laid out rainbow towel, reading magazines and chatting animatedly. he was about to wave them over so he could show them what he dubbed the styles kingdom when two boys ran straight through his work, chasing a ball and laughing loudly, oblivious to the ruins they left behind.

harry gasped, and lowered his arm.

he looked down at what used to be his castle and he could feel the tears in his eyes, itching to escape in traitor streaks down his cheeks. he clutched at the fabric of his sand stained shirt, willing the tears to go away.

plopping down, he grabbed a fistful of sand and threw it at his collapsed kingdom, cheeks going pink with anger. he was about to get up and ask his mom if they could leave when it happened.

a boy with caramel hair and blue swim trunks came running to his rescue, equipped with his bright red bucket and completely prepared to help him rebuild his castle for the hundredth time that day.

louis was beautiful and golden and harry was in love.

-

they shared their first kiss when harry was nine and louis was twelve.

It was new years eve and they were huddled close together in harry's bed waiting for his alarm clock to reach 12:00 am, blanket slung over their heads like a shield from the rest of the world.

they were in their own little bubble, eyes drooping and struggling to stay open as the minutes ticked by.

they didn't speak, the only thing filling the silence being their small yawns they tried to hide, the quiet in and out of their breathing, and the tick tock of the old digital clock that sat on his dresser.

at 11:58 louis tangled their fingers together and smiled, body bouncing excitedly with the idea of a new year filled with new memories. harry looked down at their fingers and smiled, squeezing his hand once before turning his gaze back to the clock.  

at 11:59 harry started counting backwards from 60, never letting his eyes leave the big red numbers that illuminated the otherwise dark room.

when he was at 12 seconds, the clock switched over and he suspects it's because he tripped over a few numbers, getting confused when he went from 50 to 49. but he doesn't think about that for very long because louis grabs his shoulders and pulls himself up, kissing him quickly.

"happy new year, hazza." he whispered into his ear before slumping back down into the bed and dragging the blanket with him. he turned, facing the wall. "g’night."

harry looked down at him buried beneath the blankets and let his fingers ghost over his lips, smiling faintly.

after a moment or maybe an hour he snaps out of it, snuggling in close to louis and kisses his cheek.

"happy new year, lou." he whispers even though he's already sound asleep, soft snores coming out in slow intervals that eventually lull him to sleep.

-

at fourteen and sixteen, louis asked him to be his boyfriend.

they were walking home from school and he was complaining about how heavy his backpack was and how it probably weighed the same as an elephant when louis stopped in the middle of the sidewalk mid conversation.

"harry." he said and harry turned around where he was a few paces ahead of him. his fingers were wrapped tight around the straps of his backpack, chewing at his lips nervously. "harry, i have something i need to talk to you about."

and, okay. he was internally freaking out, mind buzzing with the endless possibilities. 

did he know he stole his old, battered pink floyd shirt at their last sleepover? (well, he didn't _steal_ it. louis left it as his house and it smelled good and was really comfortable so he conveniently forgot to mention it.)

"uh, sure, what's up?" he asked, toying with the ties of his sweatshirt idly. he hopes he doesn't sound as nervous as he feels.

"well." louis opened his mouth and then closed it again, trying to find the right words for the moment but coming up blank.

"do you remember that one time we went camping and we were playing truth or dare?" he blurted out, continuing when harry nodded with a puzzled look. "and do you remember how you asked me if i liked anyone? well, i lied when i said no."

harry felt like his chest was caving in, images of zayn, the tall boy who wore leather jackets and drew pictures and was just so incredibly beautiful and frustratingly nice, and then liam, the schools football co-captain, who stood alongside louis. or maybe it was niall, the irish transfer student who sat at their table constantly laughing with or making louis laugh. hell, it could even be ben or greg or jaymi or literally anyone because louis had a way of making everyone fall devastatingly in love with him, making rooms get brighter just by walking in.

louis sucked in a breath, working up the courage to tell him.

"i like you. like, _like like_ you. shit, that's a lot of likes." louis laughed, smiling wide. "but i do, i like you. i really fucking like you. and this is probably ruining everything, which sucks. it really sucks because you're my best friend and i like you and you probably don't like me back, and i know that nick boy in your english class totally has a thing for you but i really really _really_ like you and your stupid curly hair and singing grease songs with you and just everything. i like you."

he’s stuck between wanting to shout how much he loves him from the top of a roof or beating him up for not saying something sooner but he settles for hip checking him with a goofy smile spread across his face.

"shut up. you're honestly completely blind if you haven't noticed how completely gone i am for you. everyone knows, like. you're amazing. and dumb and corny and ridiculous, but mostly you're amazing. and i like you, for the record. i like you a whole lot."

louis was stunned, completely in shock that he liked him back. when he finally worked up the courage to ask him he never thought that harry liking him back was even an option.

“thank god.” he says, relief apparent in his voice, laughing nervously as he takes hold of harry’s hand and slots their fingers together. they fit perfectly. “that would have been awkward if you didn’t.”

-

"i think we should have sex." harry says nonchalantly, stabbing his mystery meatloaf with his plastic spork, eyes boring into the mushy meat down like it's suddenly the most interesting thing in the world.

louis starts choking on his milk mid sip.

it’s sudden and probably ( _completely_ ) the wrong time to bring the subject up, but. he does.

as ridiculous and corny as it sounds, he wants to be one with louis. he wants to know every single part of him and he wants to memorize every little sweet sound he makes when he bottomed out in him.

it doesn’t help that he can’t go a single day without at some point imagining scenarios in his head or wanting to lean over in class to kiss his neck or bite his lip or tear all his clothes off.

"excuse me?" he sputters out after a moment, stealing a napkin off niall's tray- who looked just as shocked with his eyes wide and mouth gaping- and wiping the splashes of milk off his face.

"you think we should what?"

"i think we should have sex." he says again, and he's really fucking nervous but he keeps his voice steady and continues poking at his food.

niall makes gagging sounds and says some colorful words under his breath before he picks up his tray and switches tables to avoid hearing a conversation he'll probably regret hearing.

he doesn't know how he even got up the courage to mention it, but he likes the way it sounds. sex with louis.

he doesn't trust anyone the way he trusts him. not the mention the fact that he's kind of sort of completely in love with him.

"well, uh," louis clears his throat and pauses, and he can feel his eyes on him. "uh, okay?"

harry's head shoots up and he looks at louis who’s scratching at the back of his neck and looking more than a little confused and maybe even a little aroused.

"okay." harry smiles, and louis just laughs and shakes his head, going back to his food.

"okay."

-

it starts with a heavy make out session in louis' bedroom, legs on either side of his waist and his fingers curled into the hairs at the nape of his neck, shirt long gone.

"can we," harry pants, "can we, uh."

"spit it out, love." louis laughs, nibbling at his ear and leaving a trail kisses all over his cheeks. harry loves him.

he rests his forehead against louis', closing his eyes. "i want you."

louis stops kissing him then, holding his chin in his little delicate hands and scratching at the scruff that's built up, staring into his eyes. he can’t tell what he’s thinking.

"alright." he whispers and kisses his nose. "if you’re sure?"

he is. he's never been more sure of anything, aside from the fact that he loves him.

“i'm sure. i'm 100% absolutely positive. i want this, i want you." he insists, leaning into his touch and smiling.

"hey lou," he says softly, "thank you."

louis' expression softens and he leans up, kissing his forehead gently. "always." he mumbles, placing chaste wet kisses down his jaw and works his way down his chest, looking back at him every few seconds to make sure he's still okay and he still wants this.

he would never not want this.

when he gets down to his tummy he can't help but squirm at louis’ light touch and he laughs, going excruciatingly slow, taking his time because it riles him up. after a minute he tugs on his hair and gives him what's meant to be a menacing glare but he breaks out into a smile when louis just wiggles his eyebrows and goes back to placing small kisses over his stomach.

eventually he reaches the top of his pajama pants, giving him a questioning look.

harry nods, and that's all louis needs for confirmation, peeling the flannel down his legs, rubbing his hand smoothly down his thighs and leaving ghost trails into his blushing skin.

"are you sure? It's okay if you don't want to baby." louis asks again, and he can barely make out the words but he whimpers a small yes, nodding. 

louis nods, kissing him once before pulling his shirt off in one swift movement, and then he's in awe.

harry's seen him shirtless countless times before sure, but. this is different.

he can take him in fully now, his small frame and the delicate swoop of his collarbones. the way the light illuminates his golden skin and the way his eyelashes cast shadows onto his cheeks, making him look like an angel.

it's a lot to take in and it makes his heart thump in his chest so loud he thinks people a mile away could hear it and think it’s thunder.

and in the moment, all he wants to do is pull him down and kiss him until his lips are swollen red and bruised purple, so he does. it’s slow and sloppy and all he wants to do is tell him how beautiful he is and how much he loves him but his lips are too caught up in the way louis’ feel against his own to form the words; too caught up in how his bare skin is scorching every inch of his body.

he wants to tell him he’s beautiful, so he tells him with his lips and his fingers ghosting lightly on his back, caressing his bones and leaving traces of love in his skin.

when he pulls away, his eyes are glazed over with love and lust and he’s never looked more beautiful. and he tells him this time, brushing his hair out of his eyes and whispering it, voice shaking.

it’s terrifying how much he loves him and he feels like his heart is about to burst into a million pieces when louis tells him that no, he’s more beautiful. and he believes him, he can feel it in his touch and he can see it in his eyes when he speaks the words. he’s given his heart to him and he has all the power in the world, he could ruin him completely in a second and that’s scary.

it makes him want to puke and kiss him all at once.

there’s a marching band in his chest when he leans over him, reaching into his drawers and coming back with a condom and a little tube, and he thinks he’s going to die when louis starts to work him open and he’s not really sure what to do, just breathing rapidly with his arm slung over his closed eyes, mind racing with nervous thoughts.

louis teases his hole, murmuring words of encouragement and things like ‘ _god, you’re so beautiful_ ’ and ‘ _so tight so tight so tight_ ’ while opening him up with one finger, and the ache of pain is there but dull and he just wants _moremoremore_. so he adds another digit, pressing a kiss on his abdomen and scissoring his fingers.

“lou,” he gasps, trying to find his voice when he adds in a third finger, “ _please_.”

“okay, yeah,” he whispers, his warm breath tickling at his stomach, “i want to make you feel good.”

so he does. he feels really fucking good. it’s slow and loving until it’s not, and then it’s fast and all lust, and it couldn’t be more perfect.

and, god, he was absolutely right when he thought louis would make the sweetest fucking sounds. he wants to record them and listen to them later because he doesn’t think porn could do it for him anymore, he doesn’t think anything could compare to _this_.  

and he hates how pathetic that it, but then he loves it because _this is it._ this is the boy he’s had all his firsts with and hopes they’re all his lasts.

he’s pathetic and he loves it, loves him.

he tells him, kind of accidentally, when he finishes in louis’ hand and it’s embarrassing but he just nods, panting into his neck. “love you more.” and, yeah. hearing those words alone could probably make him come again.

-

harry was seventeen and louis was nineteen and they had the rest of their lives to love each other and hate each other and fight over ridiculous things and scream at each other and have incredible sex to make up for it all and harry couldn’t be happier.

he thinks if you look close enough at the stars you could see them up their, destined to be together and he thinks that maybe when he proposes in five or ten years he’ll have to thank those assholes who knocked over his castles because it gave him something better.

**Author's Note:**

> so yeahhhhhhhh  
> that's that
> 
> kudos is always appreciated and comments will earn you a shit eating grin
> 
> tumblr; englandlou
> 
> love u all loads x


End file.
